senbazuru~ Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:33 pm
sick joke...highlight the bottom to read...
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
Oh, no: I never found her head.
eh...not really sick but...nvm
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."
This one is a matter of interpretation...
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane and as such have gone for a holiday back to the place where they first met.
While sitting at a cafe the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over fifty years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes I remember it well dear." replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time’s sake, lets go there again and I’ll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows the pensioners. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress. The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady’s hips and the little old lady then reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is forty minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don’t move for a hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this, not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in fifty years time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What’s your secret, could you shag like that fifty years ago?"
The pensioner replies,
"Son, fifty years ago that freaking fence wasn’t electrified."
I like this one
Last edited by Valerie~ on Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
